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[mothmansplaining]

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credit

"Stanford Pines. Leave a message."

Comments

cw moon truthing

[mothmansplaining]

....have you ever been to the moon?

I mean the real one. Not the set in Area 51.

oh god do i need to warn for that i do it constantly

[tetractys]

YEAH! APOLLO TWELVE WAS ACTUALLY LEGIT, GO FIGURE. THEY FELL ASLEEP UP THERE AND I GOT TO SEE THE MOON MINDSCAPE!

WANT TO GO?

i have no idea i just saw someone on plurk upset about it

[mothmansplaining]

Think you can program it into the Enclosure?

[tetractys]

YES!

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAVEN'T BEEN TO THE MOON BEFORE!

DID YOU FINISH THOSE JETPACKS WE WERE WORKING ON?

[mothmansplaining]

[A nod. He sure did.]

I'll meet you there in half an hour.

[tetractys]

[Half an hour later, Bill is in the sky above the entrance to the Enclosure with his usual communicator bag and a thermos full of a cocktail called Blue Moon.]

HI, MISTER GRADUATION GENIUS~

[mothmansplaining]

[Ford's got his jetpack slung jauntily over one shoulder, and when Bill greets him, he breaks into a doofy grin. He can't help it, he's. he's stupidly charmed.]

Hello, Bill.

[clearly this is a great idea for two people who are not dating to do]

Is everything ready?

[tetractys]

CAN'T GET IN WITHOUT YOU, KID! LEMME IN WITH YOUR KEY AND I'LL GET IT GOING.

[mothmansplaining]

Ugh, right. Inmate restrictions.

[He'd almost forgotten, since the lounge is such fair game.]

Just a sec.

[He pulls a monocle out of his pocket and holds it up to the door. Keycard accepted!]

You know, considering how easy it is to access a bar full of free alcohol, you'd think the matter-creation machine wouldn't be so restricted.

[tetractys]

HEY, MY READING GLASSES!

[Bill has definitely seen Ford's item before, this is just a dumb eyeball joke.]

YEAH, YOU'D THINK WE'D BE TRUSTED WITH OUR OWN BATHROOMS, TOO.

[Bill swooces on in and chatters to the panel about "Earth's moon, not the fake one from Peru or the fake one from New Mexico or the fake one from L.A. or secret one that humans can't go to because it's a hollow shell full of moon criminals," specifies atmospheric content and amount of werewolves and moon crabs (few).]

[mothmansplaining]

Moon criminals! I knew it.

[tetractys]

[Lifts the lever, opens the door to the gray, cratered surface. It looks just like the footage! Because they did their research, duh.

The airlock, notably, doesn't depressurize. It's breathable out there, hooray! Bill holds the door and mock-bows, then says, as if he's offering a tray of snacks:]

SMALL STEP FOR MAN, FORDSY?

[mothmansplaining]

[Confirmation of extraterrestrial life lacks punch these days. Being on a moon is old hat. But it's neat to visit this moon, even in a simulation, because it's the moon he's looked at since he was a kid. Werewolves and moon-crabs and all.]

Don't mind if I do.

[He steps inside and immediately notices the gravity change; his jetpack is much lighter. Ford shifts it on his shoulder, then takes an experimental hop. Weird gravity is old news; the specific amount of weird gravity on his own moon is cool. Nostalgic, kinda.]

[tetractys]

[Bill floats out after, unbothered by gravity in any amount.]

BOUNCY, HUH. SOFT LANDING AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT ON ROCK, TOO! YOU COULD PLAY SOME REAL VOLLEYBALL UP HERE. I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE SQUARES WE SENT UP ONLY THOUGHT ABOUT GOLF.

[mothmansplaining]

[Ford pulls the jetpack on fully, strapping himself in.]

Let's get a look at the landscape.

[He goes to press the ignition button -- then thinks better of it and adjusts the amount of propulsion to account for lower gravity. Then he'll press the ignition button.]

[tetractys]

[They bounce around doing Moon Activities. They both get very dusty. Bill pulls Ford over to a good spot to watch Earth from and breaks out drinks.]

[mothmansplaining]

[Yay, moon activities! Ford will be very excited about any life that is spotted, and any landmarks he recognizes that look different in person!!

Ford is happily pulled over and settles down on a piece of moon rock. He is very very dusty. He attempts to brush his coat off. Some dust comes off. More dust sticks to his hands. You cannot tell there is a lighter-gray streak in his hair anymore. It is all the color of moon dust.]

[tetractys]

[Bill ruffles his hair, just to see it go everywhere.]

HEHEHEHEH.

[mothmansplaining]

!!! Hey!

[Pff. Pfff. Ford tries to blow the dust away from him, but it's too late; it gets all over his shoulders, making him look like he's got a terrible case of space dandruff, and on his glasses, which makes it very hard to see.]

Darn it, Bill--

[Not actually mad! Just Ford-grouchy. He takes his glasses off and rubs them on his sweater. Puts them back on. ....not much better. Takes them off again. Gives them a more vigorous sweater-cleaning.]

No wonder only one mission made it here. This stuff's impossible to get out!

[tetractys]

HAAAHAHAHA, HA HA HA.

[u need prisms in front of your eyes just to see things and thats funny]

HERE, HERE-

[Bill reaches for his glasses - he can get this off.]

[mothmansplaining]

[Ford trusts that this won't end terribly, so he lets Bill take the glasses out of his hands.

He's still got the ultraviolet-sensing cones in his eyes from the breach two Februaries ago. Ford's got his glasses done so they block it out most of the time -- it's very distracting, even if it does warn him what not to touch on the ship -- but with them off, Bill is a very bright, colorful blur.

Huh.

Ford looks out at the Earth.

Huh.]

Whoa. It looks -- different in ultraviolet.

[tetractys]

WHAT?

[Ford almost always has his glasses on, Bill has forgotten he had that.

He pops into the mindscape, then pops back out - pristine, not a speck of dust on him or the glasses. Hands them back.]

TA DAAAA. YOU SHOULD GET THAT LENS FIXED.

[mothmansplaining]

[Ford looks down at the glasses, impressed.]

...thank you.

I suppose I should. Next time we're in a port with modern eyewear, I'll replace it.

[They're not part of his character design anymore. There's not really a reason to go around with broken glasses, is there?]

[tetractys]

[Wait that's actually kind of troubling]

BUT THE SAME SHAPE, RIGHT?

[WITHHOLDING THE GLASSES FEARFULLY! Ford, don't change your face, he likes it!]

[mothmansplaining]

[Ford blinks owlishly at the Bill-blur. ?? Why did Bill react like--

--oh, right. Bill's attached to Ford's clothes, kind of. He was nostalgic about the trenchcoat Ford wore during Weirdmageddon. He doesn't really like permanent changes -- even if he's alright with suits, apparently.]

Well, I...I like this shape. So, yes. Probably.