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[mothmansplaining]

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"Stanford Pines. Leave a message."

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text, dated after the Maverick Technique flood

[tetractys]

HEY IQ

I KNOW WE'RE ON A BREAK, BUT I HAVE SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN BUGGING ME.

[mothmansplaining]

What is it, Bill?

[tetractys]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WHEN YOU DIE.

IT'S REALLY [it's scaring him. Death scares him.]

I DON'T LIKE IT

[mothmansplaining]

[??? This doesn't sound like someone who was just using Ford to feel better about being killed.]

What do you mean? You'll be fine when I die. You'll find something else to keep you busy, I'm sure of it.

[tetractys]

NO, NO. YOU LISTEN, THAT WAS HARD TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT JUST NOW, I WOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT IF I WASN'T SURE!

[mothmansplaining]

All right! You're serious! Okay, I believe you.

So, you're worried about what'll happen when I'm gone?

[tetractys]

YEAH.

I KIND OF RAN INTO THE END OF MY PLANS BACK WHEN WE KILLED THE DIRECTOR.

I WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW THE UNIVERSE WORKS BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO IT WITHOUT YOU THERE.

[mothmansplaining]

[Ford looks at the communicator, heart racing. What does this mean? What does it mean about how Bill feels? What does it mean for the future?]

But Bill, I'm a human. The Barge might have stopped the aging process for now, but I can't stay here forever. Sooner or later, I'm going to die. You'll have to go on without me.

[tetractys]

I COULD FIX THAT.

IT'S NOT EVEN HARD.

[mothmansplaining]

...what exactly are you suggesting?

[He likes being human just fine and he hopes the implication there wasn't that Bill will "fix" his humanity away.]

[tetractys]

I MEAN I COULD JUST MAKE YOU STOP AGING. I COULD EVEN MAKE YOU YOUNGER! I CAN DO PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING TO A FLESH BODY THAT THERE'S A WORD FOR.

[mothmansplaining]

Believe me, I'm aware.

...wait, does this mean you have your powers back?

[tetractys]

NO, I'M THINKING LONGER-TERM HERE. I WILL HAVE THEM BACK AT SOME POINT!

[mothmansplaining]

And when you do, you want to postpone my death. Stop me from dying of old age.

[Just collecting the facts here.]

[tetractys]

I COULD BE LIKE YOU AND QUIBBLE ON SEMANTICS, BUT YEAH, THAT'S THE GIST.

ONE QUIBBLE, ACTUALLY! I'M NOT GOING TO KEEP YOU ALIVE AND TOO OLD TO MOVE AROUND. THERE'LL BE A QUALITY OF LIFE CLAUSE IN THERE.

[mothmansplaining]

[Man. This is...a lot to take in. They're going from "on a break while Bill figures out if he actually cares or not" to "I want to make you functionally immortal because I don't want to lose you."

Ford's been braced for the former, and he's having a hard time changing gears.]

I don't know, Bill. This is really sudden. The last time we talked, you still weren't sure if you ever really cared about me. Now you want me to travel the cosmos with you past the end of my natural lifespan?

Did I miss something??

[tetractys]

MAYBE.

I DECIDED ON A BREAK BECAUSE I WANTED TO TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I WANTED TO WITH MY LIFE BESIDES HANG OUT WITH YOU, BUT

I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT.

YOU'VE GOT YOUR FAMILY, BUT BESIDES THE PEOPLE WE MET HERE ALL I HAVE IS YOU.

[mothmansplaining]

You really don't know what you want to do?

No universe-free-from-natural-laws? No climbing into higher and higher dimensions?

[tetractys]

WHAT'S THE POINT

[mothmansplaining]

It was freedom, wasn't it?

[tetractys]

WAS IT? I HAVE NO IDEA.

[mothmansplaining]

You wanted to be free. Someplace that no one could tell you what to do. Not even gravity!

You really don't want that anymore?

[tetractys]

YEAH, AND NONE OF IT WAS EVEN REAL.

IF I TRY THAT AGAIN, SOMEONE'S JUST GOING TO GET KILLED.

[mothmansplaining]

[Holy shit. Every time they have a conversation like this, it feels so surreal.

Bill's really not okay, and while Ford is glad that that means the multiverse is safe, he doesn't just care about the multiverse.]

Bill...

The multiverse is a big place.
There's got to be something out there that makes you happy.

[tetractys]

SURE, PROBABLY.

LOOK, LET'S NOT GET INTO IT.