[It comes out snapped. Bill makes a frustrated noise and wrings at his cane like he's going to snap it.]
SORRY. I'M - THIS IS HARD. I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP. I DON'T WANT TO BE TRAPPED. BUT I JUST HAD TO PICK THE ONE THAT HURT LESS, OR I WAS GOING TO GO NUTS. AND TRUE FREEDOM, MIGHT BE IMPOSSIBLE. IT'S SOMETHING I'VE NEVER FOUND, AND I'VE GONE FARTHER TO FIND IT THAN ANYONE ELSE EVER HAS, FORDSY. THERE'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE ANOTHER THING IN THE WAY, AND HANGING MY HAPPINESS ON IT ... MEANS I'LL NEVER GET THERE.
[Bill sinks back to the floor again, puts his back against the door to the hallway and shuts his eye. He looks tiny, and sad.]
BUT YOU'RE HERE.
I ALREADY HAVE YOU. AND IT'S STUPID NOT TO - NOT TO PICK THE OPTION THAT I ALREADY KNOW MAKES ME HAPPY.
BUT IT FEELS LIKE LOSING. BOTH WAYS FEEL LIKE LOSING. SHOOT. THIS ISN'T HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO.
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momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2019-12-04 08:03 pm (UTC)[It comes out snapped. Bill makes a frustrated noise and wrings at his cane like he's going to snap it.]
SORRY. I'M - THIS IS HARD. I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP. I DON'T WANT TO BE TRAPPED. BUT I JUST HAD TO PICK THE ONE THAT HURT LESS, OR I WAS GOING TO GO NUTS. AND TRUE FREEDOM, MIGHT BE IMPOSSIBLE. IT'S SOMETHING I'VE NEVER FOUND, AND I'VE GONE FARTHER TO FIND IT THAN ANYONE ELSE EVER HAS, FORDSY. THERE'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE ANOTHER THING IN THE WAY, AND HANGING MY HAPPINESS ON IT ... MEANS I'LL NEVER GET THERE.
[Bill sinks back to the floor again, puts his back against the door to the hallway and shuts his eye. He looks tiny, and sad.]
BUT YOU'RE HERE.
I ALREADY HAVE YOU. AND IT'S STUPID NOT TO - NOT TO PICK THE OPTION THAT I ALREADY KNOW MAKES ME HAPPY.
BUT IT FEELS LIKE LOSING. BOTH WAYS FEEL LIKE LOSING. SHOOT. THIS ISN'T HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO.
[Bill looks up, tired.]
CAN I START OVER?