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"I'm going to miss you too, Ford," she says, and leans back a little to wipe away a tear. "Is there...any way I'll be able to see you again?"
"Of course!" Ford says, immediate. "If I ask the Admiral to send me there, I can come visit you any time. And I'm working on a ship that should let me cross between dimensions. So, as long as I have a scan of you or Jasper in this--" He indicates the handheld scanner he used on the cookies a minute ago "--I'll be able to find your dimension based on its transuniversal designation. It's not as easy as a phone call, but....if you'd like, I can come by to see you."
"I'd like that very much, Ford."
She reaches down to squeeze his hand - with normal human pressure this time.
"It'll be nice to know how you're doing."
You seem like you'd be one of those people, at least before you got used to all this.
[The guy does literally have a metal plate in his head, after all.]
Really they oughta let everyone out of 'em, but that's not exactly "good television".
[The guy does literally have a metal plate in his head, after all.]
Really they oughta let everyone out of 'em, but that's not exactly "good television".
No. No, it isn't.
It wasn't the memories of another lifetime that got under my skin, Stanley. It was how you and the kids were...never there. In some of them, you had already died. I suppose it was because my readings keep coming up negative for a pre-existing Stanford Pines -- I'm always new to the universe, and without a version of you on the ship to go with me....the universe just worked around it.
[He remembers the cyberpunk Martian breach. The eye he'd had implanted, the one with all of the photographs. The foot-bot that was a literal foot, that he'd had to wear. He remembers the first breach, and what Phasma had done to his family, because of Ford's research.]
It wasn't the memories of another lifetime that got under my skin, Stanley. It was how you and the kids were...never there. In some of them, you had already died. I suppose it was because my readings keep coming up negative for a pre-existing Stanford Pines -- I'm always new to the universe, and without a version of you on the ship to go with me....the universe just worked around it.
[He remembers the cyberpunk Martian breach. The eye he'd had implanted, the one with all of the photographs. The foot-bot that was a literal foot, that he'd had to wear. He remembers the first breach, and what Phasma had done to his family, because of Ford's research.]
[Stan hadn't even thought about that. How many breaches has Ford had to go through without him? How many times has Ford been forced to believe his whole family was gone? Stan can't hide how heartbreaking that thought is.]
Well. At least we're both here now. And we're both wardens, at least for now. Can't say that whole thing from last week bodes well for us actually getting along in breaches, but...sounds like it's better than the alternative?
[Some dumb breach can't pretend he's dead if he's here and alive, right? Probably?]
Well. At least we're both here now. And we're both wardens, at least for now. Can't say that whole thing from last week bodes well for us actually getting along in breaches, but...sounds like it's better than the alternative?
[Some dumb breach can't pretend he's dead if he's here and alive, right? Probably?]
He beams at her.
"Okay," he says. "How about I come by in a few weeks?" That seems like a good amount of time for Rose to make her apologies, ask what people want as amends, and figure out what she's doing and where she's going.
"Okay," he says. "How about I come by in a few weeks?" That seems like a good amount of time for Rose to make her apologies, ask what people want as amends, and figure out what she's doing and where she's going.
Edited 2020-07-20 18:30 (UTC)
"A few weeks sounds great."
Although who knows how long that's going to be in Barge time.
It's better, Stanley.
[he's so fucking serious about that.]
[he's so fucking serious about that.]
...thank you, Tiffany.
[GOSH THAT MEANS A LOT, GIVE HIM A SECOND HERE.]
I can't promise I'm going to stay forever. I've got to make sure my family's taken care of! But I've got enough unfinished business around here that I won't be running off just yet.
[GOSH THAT MEANS A LOT, GIVE HIM A SECOND HERE.]
I can't promise I'm going to stay forever. I've got to make sure my family's taken care of! But I've got enough unfinished business around here that I won't be running off just yet.
[At some point during the flood, the need to Do Science is overwhelming, or at least Stan assumes that's why he's down in Ford's lab, conducting tests to see what constitutes a lie, what the different variations in bugs mean, and maybe even learning valuable barge information in the process.
So Stan, the greatest liar Ford knows, has stolen the chair at the console for himself while Ford finishes preparations. The only preparation Stan thought of ahead of time was a bucket.]
This is probably one of the weirdest things I've ever done for you - y'know that, right?
[Surprisingly, no bugs occur. This is objectively one of the weirdest things he could be doing for Ford, period.]
So Stan, the greatest liar Ford knows, has stolen the chair at the console for himself while Ford finishes preparations. The only preparation Stan thought of ahead of time was a bucket.]
This is probably one of the weirdest things I've ever done for you - y'know that, right?
[Surprisingly, no bugs occur. This is objectively one of the weirdest things he could be doing for Ford, period.]
Huh.
[Ford notes that with surprise.]
I guess you're right.
[Ford turns around, a row of test tubes and beakers ready.]
Okay, let's begin. First, let's establish a control species. One truth and one lie, if you please, Stanley.
[Ford notes that with surprise.]
I guess you're right.
[Ford turns around, a row of test tubes and beakers ready.]
Okay, let's begin. First, let's establish a control species. One truth and one lie, if you please, Stanley.
Alright, alright. That's easy enough. I'm Stanley Filbrick Pines!
[He waits a beat, because the whole thing is useless if he rushes through them. He really, really wants to rush through this though.]
Uh. I'm...Hal Forrester.
[He feels it as soon as it happens. Something just appears in the back of his throat and he blindly grabs for the bucket. After a second or two of discomfort, he spits out a chirping cricket that doesn't seem like it enjoyed the experience either.]
[He waits a beat, because the whole thing is useless if he rushes through them. He really, really wants to rush through this though.]
Uh. I'm...Hal Forrester.
[He feels it as soon as it happens. Something just appears in the back of his throat and he blindly grabs for the bucket. After a second or two of discomfort, he spits out a chirping cricket that doesn't seem like it enjoyed the experience either.]
[The sentiment he really wants to express is an assurance that this place will never come between them for long - but, given the rest of the conversation, saying it out loud feels like jinxing them.
So, he pivots. He jinxes himself instead, to spare Ford.]
I dunno what I would've done in your shoes, y'know. If I woke up one day and realized this place had been making me think you were a goner for the last week...I'd probably punch a hole in the wall, or something.
[It's the most acceptable way to say he'd be absolutely devastated. ]
So, he pivots. He jinxes himself instead, to spare Ford.]
I dunno what I would've done in your shoes, y'know. If I woke up one day and realized this place had been making me think you were a goner for the last week...I'd probably punch a hole in the wall, or something.
[It's the most acceptable way to say he'd be absolutely devastated. ]
[Ford breaks into a chuckle. Stan has always, always been able to make him laugh, even at the worst of times.]
Heh heh. I can't say I haven't been tempted.
Heh heh. I can't say I haven't been tempted.
[Ford pulls out a pair of forceps and places the cricket inside a beaker labeled STAN - LIE.]
I'm Stanford Filbrick Pines.
[No bug.]
I'm -- Lucas Starrambler.
[Oof here it comes! Ford coughs a comparable cricket into an Erlenmeyer flask, labels it FORD - LIE, and puts it by the other one.]
Of course, we have to account for the Barge's irritating inconsistencies. There's no way to tell whether this is affecting everybody, or if it will affect everybody the same. But now I want you to take a guess at something you don't know about.
[Ford pulls some flash cards out of his pocket and holds a blank side up at Stan. There's three wiggly lines on the side facing Ford, but Stan won't be able to see it.]
Tell me the shape on the other side of this card.
I'm Stanford Filbrick Pines.
[No bug.]
I'm -- Lucas Starrambler.
[Oof here it comes! Ford coughs a comparable cricket into an Erlenmeyer flask, labels it FORD - LIE, and puts it by the other one.]
Of course, we have to account for the Barge's irritating inconsistencies. There's no way to tell whether this is affecting everybody, or if it will affect everybody the same. But now I want you to take a guess at something you don't know about.
[Ford pulls some flash cards out of his pocket and holds a blank side up at Stan. There's three wiggly lines on the side facing Ford, but Stan won't be able to see it.]
Tell me the shape on the other side of this card.
Heh. Ma would get a kick out of this test.
[They were subjected to so many card tricks when they were kids, courtesy of their fake psychic mother.
Stan pretends to think about it hard, though something about him seems a little mischievous.]
A shape, huh? Knowing you I'm gonna gueeeess...a triangle.
[The price he pays for being a smartass is a tickle at the back of his throat. He covers his mouth, and when he pulls it away there's a daddy long legs walking around on his hand.]
[They were subjected to so many card tricks when they were kids, courtesy of their fake psychic mother.
Stan pretends to think about it hard, though something about him seems a little mischievous.]
A shape, huh? Knowing you I'm gonna gueeeess...a triangle.
[The price he pays for being a smartass is a tickle at the back of his throat. He covers his mouth, and when he pulls it away there's a daddy long legs walking around on his hand.]
[Ford turns the card around.]
Hmph! Incorrect.
[He moves in to peer at the bug though.]
Is that a cellar spider?
Hmph! Incorrect.
[He moves in to peer at the bug though.]
Is that a cellar spider?
Yeah, just a daddy long legs.
[Stan turns his hand once it reaches the edge so it still has a place to crawl, and holds it out to Ford.]
I dunno if we're ranking them, but it was definitely less gross than the cricket.
[Stan turns his hand once it reaches the edge so it still has a place to crawl, and holds it out to Ford.]
I dunno if we're ranking them, but it was definitely less gross than the cricket.
Interesting. That means that even though there's something determining objective truth, they won't allow us to use this to gain knowledge that wasn't already attainable.
I'll bet it's the Authority.
[A beat. No spider, but...]
...eh, that one was probably a technicality. I would bet it was the Authority. Here, I'll take that.
[Ford, if Stan doesn't mind, will use the psychic test card to scoop the spider into a wide-mouthed beaker.]
Your grossness ranking is noted.
I'll bet it's the Authority.
[A beat. No spider, but...]
...eh, that one was probably a technicality. I would bet it was the Authority. Here, I'll take that.
[Ford, if Stan doesn't mind, will use the psychic test card to scoop the spider into a wide-mouthed beaker.]
Your grossness ranking is noted.
Edited 2020-07-30 21:09 (UTC)
Makes enough sense to me - making us deal with floods at all is part of their M.O. right? And how the bugs work is part of the flood, so you didn't get a bug 'cause it was vague enough to be true.
[This is the real reason Stan is here - as the resident expert liar. And since that logic tracks, he doesn't get another bug either.]
It's why vague lies work better.
[This is the real reason Stan is here - as the resident expert liar. And since that logic tracks, he doesn't get another bug either.]
It's why vague lies work better.
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