[IC INBOX | lastvoyages ]

[mothmansplaining]

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credit

"Stanford Pines. Leave a message."

Comments

Spam!

[charlastan]

[Stan storms off to the bar for a refill then. It's not even about the shipping, not really. He's had plenty of non-serious flings! That part shouldn't be a problem! The problem comes from warming up to people and the sincerity that comes with that. He knows what this is - people don't watch romances for flings, they watch it for the emotional drama.

He comes back to the table with a glass that's casually a little fuller than the one he started the evening with.]

So, uh... [He drums his fingers on the table, desperately trying to think of something to change the subject and failing miserably.] ...How's things been?

Spam!

[mothmansplaining]

I thought we weren't going to talk about that.

Spam!

[charlastan]

[You are impossible sometimes, Ford.]

How's thing's been other than that?

Spam!

[mothmansplaining]

Well, uh. I broke up with my boyfriend. Was very wrong about this just being a flood. Took apart a ton of gym equipment to make cabin locks that didn't do much good.

Spam!

[charlastan]

[Somehow this feels even more awkward than just talking about it. He skips over Bill since he already knows about that one and focuses on the rest.]

Eh, it sounded like it was gonna be one. It was worth a shot, probably.

Spam!

[mothmansplaining]

If it made people feel safer for a few days, then I guess it was worth it. But it was a lot of work!

Spam!

[charlastan]

Considering how everything else went, yeah, definitely.

[That treads so close to the line, but Stan swerves in another direction at the last moment and grins.]

You and Nadja seen each other since the party?

Spam!

[mothmansplaining]

...well, no. Things got very chaotic very fast.

Spam!

[charlastan]

Right, right...sure did.

[Well, that took the wind right out of the sails of the S.S. Mockery. An awkward beat passes between them, and then Stan sighs.]

Look. ...You know I don't think any of the stuff that other version of me said to you, right?

Spam!

[mothmansplaining]

...it was a different you, Stanley. Things happened differently. You were hurt, and...I never got the chance to fix that. It's okay.

Spam!

[charlastan]

I never gave you the chance. Or, I guess I threw out the only chance you gave me. He did, I mean.

[But it wasn't him. He has to stop talking about it like they're the same.]

He remembered more of the seventies than I usually do, 'cause...well, you know. [That Stan never got his memories erased, obviously.] A lot of it's kind of fuzzy now, like when someone tells me something - I just sorta remember them telling me. ...Breaches are just like that though, right?

Spam!

[mothmansplaining]

More or less. I don't know if I'd consider this a breach, but the amount of retained memories may very well be similar.

Re: Spam!

[charlastan]

[Stan breathes a small sigh of relief. He doesn't really care if the terms are right, as long as the point gets across.]

Good. So it's not just me.

Re: Spam!

[mothmansplaining]

Definitely not. We've all got a couple of lives sitting around in here by now.

[Ford knocks on the side of his head; it clanks.]

Extra memories you didn't have before is par for the course!

Spam!

[charlastan]

[The knocking gets a grin out of Stan.]

Really they oughta let me opt outta that - I've got enough memory problems as it is without extra ones to mix me up!

SPAM fite me

[supposedtochange]

Rose doesn't try to go ahead with even the small amount of self-psyching that would be necessary to message Ford. She just shows up at his door a little after what a human would consider dinner time, and knocks.

spam!

[mothmansplaining]

[Distantly:]

Just a minute!

[Ford comes to the door with welding goggles pushed up onto his forehead and a smile on his face -- he's glad to see her.]

Hello, Rose. ...is everything all right?

Re: spam!

[supposedtochange]

"Everything's..."

Fine, is the thing that wants to trip off her tongue, but instead she just looks away for a moment.

"I don't know. Can we talk?"

Re: spam!

[mothmansplaining]

Ford's eyebrows draw up. She immediately has his full attention.

"Of course we can," Ford says. "Come on in." He opens the door wider and steps aside to let her into the Mystery Shack.

[supposedtochange]

"Thank you."

She finds a place to sit and lowers herself down, carefully adjusting her skirts around her.

"....Ford, how did you graduate? I mean, what happened? What did you do?"

[mothmansplaining]

He takes a moment to think back. Rose deserves a better answer than I stopped fighting.

"Well, I--I don't think I really did anything." He takes a breath. "It didn't happen until a few months after Bill and I tried to reach the Authority. I was working on the watches at the time. I'd accepted that I needed to get people's consent if I was going to involve them in my studies, and I'd accepted that more, ah, active measures risked ship-wide catastrophe. That wasn't fair to the inmates who're stuck here. So, I started working on a project people could volunteer for, and, one day....I graduated."

[supposedtochange]

"Oh."

She folds her hands together on her lap, frowning thoughtfully.

"So there wasn't...you didn't do something to make it happen? You didn't...I don't know, you didn't wake up one morning and realize you were ready?"

[mothmansplaining]

Ford gives a slight shrug of his shoulders.

"Graduation is a particularly frustrating metric," he says. "There's no way to measure it with any kind of precision, since it's so different for everyone. That's part of why I think the Authority really is more of a council than a single entity. But I wasn't even thinking about it. I was just...I was looking for ways to help people, ways that wouldn't risk them being hurt again. I suppose that was enough for whoever was in charge.

"I've made mistakes, since I graduated. It didn't magically make me able to predict what'd hurt people and what wouldn't! But I did get better at listening, and at not feeling like I had to be the one to solve the big problems, no matter the cost. Sometimes, it's okay to just...ask if someone wants to watch a movie! And hope that someone else will be able to do more with your data than you can."

He pauses. "Are you feeling like you should be doing something? Waking up ready to go?" he asks her.

[supposedtochange]

"Yes! There's so much I want to do that I can't do here. I want to go home, I want to see my son and Greg and the Crystal Gems. I want to tell them I'm sorry about everything I did. But..."

She looks away, hiding her face.

"...I'm scared, Ford. I know they don't owe me forgiveness, and I'm ready to work for it, and...and I know they might never want me as a part of their lives again. But what if I can't deal with that, if it happens? What if I can't accept it?"

[mothmansplaining]

Oh, no. Ford's brows draw up, and he crosses to Rose, putting a hand on her shoulder. He doesn't try to look at her face, he's just here. Here for her.

He waits there a moment, taking a long breath. "I don't know," he tells her, honestly. "But if it were me, and Stan said he never wanted me in his life again, I'd..." Sneak a tracking device into his body against his express wishes. Nope. No. That's the other Ford. Not this one. What this Ford would do is different. "...I'd just take it one day at a time. Even if it feels impossible. They might not forgive you at first. They may even not want to imagine the possibility! But that doesn't mean you have to give up on it ever happening, or stop trying to be a force for good in the universe.

"And," he adds, "if you need me, or anyone else on the ship, there's ways to get in touch. If you want help, or just someone to talk to."