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[mothmansplaining]

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"Stanford Pines. Leave a message."

Comments

Re: [Spam]

[beejfu]

It was not.

[he bundles his arms up, crossing them. It definitely wasn't an accident - poisoning his drink will do that - but what the demon ghost thing MEANS and is failing to explain is that he didn't want to do the murdering. Rhys wanted it]

Anyway. If you want me to, like, swear I won't kill you or I'll be your slave or something in exchange for room here, I'll do it. Just like old times.

Re: [Spam]

[mothmansplaining]

[...oh dear. That sounds like a whole complicated mess and Ford definitely wants to know about it, but the purple hair clues him in to the fact that now might not be the time. Ford does okay with mood-ring physiology.]

...would it make you feel better about being here if we made a deal?

Or do you just want to crash?

Re: [Spam]

[beejfu]

[good man, Ford, you did it!

BJ shrugs a little, lowering the duvet back down to around his shoulders. Most demons like deals, or contracts. Helps to set up a baseline of behavior.]

What kind of a deal?

Re: [Spam]

[mothmansplaining]

[Ford shrugs.]

I don't know. I'm reasonably confident you won't kill me in my sleep, but if it helps, we can make it official.

Re: [Spam]

[beejfu]

And I can stay here until Hange wakes up? Spooky Dad?

[Spam] 1/2

[mothmansplaining]

[Spooky what.]

Yes, yes, you can stay until Hange wakes up. Just never call me that again.

[Spam] 2/2

[mothmansplaining]

...

...

...unless a Spooky Dad is what you need right now, in which case, I'll put up with it.

Re: [Spam] 2/2

[beejfu]

I really need a Spooky Dad. All my impulse controls are like....

[He mimes his hand darting back and forth over his head, making whoosh noises]

Re: [Spam]

[mothmansplaining]

[For a moment, Ford feels his control of his own life slipping away from him.

Then, with an inward shake of his head, he decides, no. No, he is choosing to help Betelgeuse. He could turn Betelgeuse out. But, instead, Ford is choosing to help.]

Is being here going to help with that?

Re: [Spam]

[beejfu]

[He eyes Ford's expression, and settles his hand back down inside the comforter.

Thing is, BJ is wildly, terrifically selfish, but he's also weirdly in tune with the emotions of other people. It's just rare when he can actually settle down long enough to pay attention to them.

So he sinks down further in the chair and says;]

I know I'm not your problem. If you don't want me here I don't wanna be here.

Re: [Spam]

[mothmansplaining]

[Ford....goes to sit down next to him, on the T-rex skull. Is Betelgeuse imposing?
Yes, absolutely. Does Ford want to kick him out? No, not really. The line between the two is weird, but it's where Ford's at. He sighs.]

I don't want to turn you out, if that's what you mean.

Betelgeuse, I...I am, objectively speaking, one of the worst individuals on this ship to help anyone with an emotional problem. That doesn't mean I don't want to. It means I don't know how.

I can't be your impulse control for you. But I can give you a place to stay that's not an empty cabin, and...maybe an incentive to try to control those impulses. Do you want to stay here more than you want to do....I don't know, what's the weirdest thing buzzing around your head right now?

Re: [Spam]

[beejfu]

[He shrinks when Ford goes to sit next to him, eyeing him warily and blinking in surprise when Ford tells him he doesn't wnat to turn him out. He says quickly -]

I don't want you to help me with my emotional problems, I swear, Tin Man. Eesh. Nah, nah. I just want a safe place to stay for a while so I have someone to wake up for, you know?

Well, I kind of wanted to see where Hange's body rolled to and see if I can't train my pet sandworm to gnaw on non-ghost comatose corpses if that's what you mean...

Re: [Spam]

[mothmansplaining]

[Okay. He can do that. That's much easier than "I don't know how to control my impulses! Help me figure out my problems, Spooky Dad!"]

Yes, I'd find that very upsetting, and I'd prefer you didn't do it.

Where was she, actually, the last time you saw her?

[if no one else has taken responsibility for hange's comatose body, ford will.]

Re: [Spam]

[beejfu]

Uh.

Last night in the lounge. I brought her up there and duct-taped her to the wall and I think someone was using her for a dart board.

[mothmansplaining]

Because I'm not happy, and you want me to be.

I'm sorry, Bill. I guess that even after everything we've been through, it still surprises me, sometimes.

[tetractys]

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE YOU HAPPY SINCE I BROKE YOUR DEAL!

Re: [Spam]

[mothmansplaining]

You what? Why? I thought you liked her!

[mothmansplaining]

I know, but -- thank you.

[Still, though, Ford feels a little weird about Bill asking people to go out of their way to be nice. This is because, while saying he's not happy with the Barge is just fine, saying he's not happy with himself and asking for help about it is a little bit embarrassing.]

Still -- are you sure it's worth the trouble of asking other people to get involved?

Re: [Spam]

[beejfu]

I ADORE Hange! I love her! She left me with NO ONE in charge of my worst goddamn impulses and I THOUGHT that wrecking shit up with her around would make her snap out of it! Plus I needed to keep an eye on her, obviously!

Re: [Spam]

[mothmansplaining]

So instead of putting her in a cabin behind an access filter, you let someone use her as a dartboard?

[tetractys]

SURE, WHY NOT! IT GETS THE JOB DONE!

Re: [Spam]

[beejfu]

Well, when you put it in that kind of tone, anything is going to sound bad.

[mothmansplaining]

Are you even sure they're going to do it? They must have better things to do than reassure an old man.

[tetractys]

I DON'T KNOW, I THINK MOST PEOPLE ARE BORED OUT OF THEIR MINDS HERE, FORDSY.

[mothmansplaining]

Well -- okay. If you can get them to agree to come by and tell me what they think of me, I'll listen to what they have to say.

[Them's the terms. He's not positive people are going to do it, or that this won't go terribly wrong. But at least very few people on the Barge are actively mad at him right now; he's pretty sure he can count them on one hand, which is an improvement.]