Well, uh. I broke up with my boyfriend. Was very wrong about this just being a flood. Took apart a ton of gym equipment to make cabin locks that didn't do much good.
I never gave you the chance. Or, I guess I threw out the only chance you gave me. He did, I mean.
[But it wasn't him. He has to stop talking about it like they're the same.]
He remembered more of the seventies than I usually do, 'cause...well, you know. [That Stan never got his memories erased, obviously.] A lot of it's kind of fuzzy now, like when someone tells me something - I just sorta remember them telling me. ...Breaches are just like that though, right?
There are a lot of people on this ship they should allow out of breaches. Losing your identity and conscious control over yourself can be very upsetting, depending on your history. I've seen people absolutely furious about it.
It wasn't the memories of another lifetime that got under my skin, Stanley. It was how you and the kids were...never there. In some of them, you had already died. I suppose it was because my readings keep coming up negative for a pre-existing Stanford Pines -- I'm always new to the universe, and without a version of you on the ship to go with me....the universe just worked around it.
[He remembers the cyberpunk Martian breach. The eye he'd had implanted, the one with all of the photographs. The foot-bot that was a literal foot, that he'd had to wear. He remembers the first breach, and what Phasma had done to his family, because of Ford's research.]
[Stan hadn't even thought about that. How many breaches has Ford had to go through without him? How many times has Ford been forced to believe his whole family was gone? Stan can't hide how heartbreaking that thought is.]
Well. At least we're both here now. And we're both wardens, at least for now. Can't say that whole thing from last week bodes well for us actually getting along in breaches, but...sounds like it's better than the alternative?
[Some dumb breach can't pretend he's dead if he's here and alive, right? Probably?]
[The sentiment he really wants to express is an assurance that this place will never come between them for long - but, given the rest of the conversation, saying it out loud feels like jinxing them.
So, he pivots. He jinxes himself instead, to spare Ford.]
I dunno what I would've done in your shoes, y'know. If I woke up one day and realized this place had been making me think you were a goner for the last week...I'd probably punch a hole in the wall, or something.
[It's the most acceptable way to say he'd be absolutely devastated. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Spam!
How's thing's been other than that?
Spam!
Spam!
Eh, it sounded like it was gonna be one. It was worth a shot, probably.
Spam!
Spam!
[That treads so close to the line, but Stan swerves in another direction at the last moment and grins.]
You and Nadja seen each other since the party?
Spam!
Spam!
[Well, that took the wind right out of the sails of the S.S. Mockery. An awkward beat passes between them, and then Stan sighs.]
Look. ...You know I don't think any of the stuff that other version of me said to you, right?
Spam!
Spam!
[But it wasn't him. He has to stop talking about it like they're the same.]
He remembered more of the seventies than I usually do, 'cause...well, you know. [That Stan never got his memories erased, obviously.] A lot of it's kind of fuzzy now, like when someone tells me something - I just sorta remember them telling me. ...Breaches are just like that though, right?
Spam!
Re: Spam!
Good. So it's not just me.
Re: Spam!
[Ford knocks on the side of his head; it clanks.]
Extra memories you didn't have before is par for the course!
Spam!
Really they oughta let me opt outta that - I've got enough memory problems as it is without extra ones to mix me up!
Spam!
There are a lot of people on this ship they should allow out of breaches. Losing your identity and conscious control over yourself can be very upsetting, depending on your history. I've seen people absolutely furious about it.
Spam!
[The guy does literally have a metal plate in his head, after all.]
Really they oughta let everyone out of 'em, but that's not exactly "good television".
Spam!
It wasn't the memories of another lifetime that got under my skin, Stanley. It was how you and the kids were...never there. In some of them, you had already died. I suppose it was because my readings keep coming up negative for a pre-existing Stanford Pines -- I'm always new to the universe, and without a version of you on the ship to go with me....the universe just worked around it.
[He remembers the cyberpunk Martian breach. The eye he'd had implanted, the one with all of the photographs. The foot-bot that was a literal foot, that he'd had to wear. He remembers the first breach, and what Phasma had done to his family, because of Ford's research.]
Spam!
Well. At least we're both here now. And we're both wardens, at least for now. Can't say that whole thing from last week bodes well for us actually getting along in breaches, but...sounds like it's better than the alternative?
[Some dumb breach can't pretend he's dead if he's here and alive, right? Probably?]
Spam!
[he's so fucking serious about that.]
Re: Spam!
So, he pivots. He jinxes himself instead, to spare Ford.]
I dunno what I would've done in your shoes, y'know. If I woke up one day and realized this place had been making me think you were a goner for the last week...I'd probably punch a hole in the wall, or something.
[It's the most acceptable way to say he'd be absolutely devastated. ]
Re: Spam!
Heh heh. I can't say I haven't been tempted.