No! No, I did not date Bill to try to kill him! We explicitly agreed that that was a bad idea!
[He huffs.]
Apparently, that Ford is extremely depressed because of his circumstances and doesn't really care if he lives or dies as long as he takes Bill out with him.
[Ford hesitates. Does he say this? It'll be upsetting if he does. Stanley spent all that time working to get him back, and if he knows that the whole time Ford was ready to die if it meant Bill was gone for good...it feels disrespectful.]
It's different for me. I have the kids. I have you! And there's Bill, who has changed, even if he does very frustrating things sometimes. He's been there for me when not many other people were.
[But he's felt that way before. He felt that way for thirty years.]
[It clicks together with what Bill said earlier, and Stan...isn't sure how he feels about that. If it adds up this well, does that mean Bill actually is worried prolonged exposure to him will just make Ford worse and worse? It's a lot easier to hate the guy if his motives are clear-cut.]
How's he changed?
[Just being there doesn't feel like enough - not for a relationship. Jerks love being at the right place at the right time to take advantage of someone. Still, the question's pretty broad, so he narrows it down.]
I don't believe he would. He doesn't like you -- doesn't like any of you! But he knows I'd never forgive him if he did it again.
I'm important to him, Stan. Very important. It took a lot to convince me of that. He took risks, made compromises, put me first even when it wasn't easy, because he wanted me in his life. He'll stop if I ask him to. He'll tell me the truth! And he won't deliberately do anything he knows will make me want to have nothing to do with him.
....he's also given up on destroying life on a large scale, which I deeply appreciate, but that decision wasn't because of me.
[That's a little better, kind of. It still has its problems, sure (like, is he alright with destroying life on a small scale then? What does that even mean?) but it emphasizes what Ford's said all along.
It does mean Bill has a point though, and he hates admitting that.]
...So, what're you gonna do when we get outta here and we find another dimension? You said it yourself - he can't stand the rest of us!
[He doesn't like the insecurity pooling in his stomach, but he's gotta ask. He'll at least try to put it lightly.]
I know you don't know what's gonna happen, but I guess what I mean is, what do you want to happen?
[How serious are they, exactly? He's spent a lot of time teasing Ford about having a boyfriend, but he has no idea. Ford's important to Bill, but how important is Bill to Ford?]
[Ford cups his hands around the scotch glass and looks over at Stan.]
I want to be with my family again, without having to give up knowing him.
[He looks down at his drink.]
I want him to graduate. To be free again, without being a danger to life in the multiverse. If that happens, he's not going to spend the rest of our lives with us in Greendale. I want to set the kids up in a good dimension, with good schools and a little weirdness. Get everyone out of Gravity Falls who wants to go. I want to go on adventures with you. And -- I want to be able to see him, too, some of the time.
He offered to extend my life. Thirty years -- to make up for the thirty I spent stranded in the multiverse. To give me more time with you. With my family. I haven't decided yet if I want to take him up on it. But...I've thought about it.
[That first sentence comes so easily, and it's a huge relief. Stan doesn't honestly know what he would do if Ford had said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this awful triangle. ...Actually, that's a lie. He probably would have flipped out and made a scene and regretted it, like he always does when he's feeling particularly hurt.
Maybe Ford expects that from Stan now. He should probably be more mad that Ford wants to spend any time with him, knowing what he knows now. Not that he's happy Bill tried to murder the kids - that's still not forgivable, even without the proper memory of it.
But. He's still left with a strange, complicated thought about Bill. One that doesn't sit easily with everything else he knows now, but one that keeps him from losing his shit now.]
...You wanna hear what he told me? 'Cause I sure as hell don't know what to make of it.
[Believe it or not, Bill didn't just pop up, go "HEY I ALMOST KILLED THE KIDS!", and flee.]
He thinks you're gonna wind up like that other Ford if you keep hanging around him. The guy sent me a message about of the blue about how he doesn't make you happy, but apparently I do? It was real weird, and he kept talking about how you used to be a lot more confident, and how he keeps trying to fix that but nothing really works.
I think he's-- ugh. [He hates this. Stan doesn't even want to say it, now that he knows what Bill did. It is physically painful to sympathize with him.] He's worried about you.
[Enough gross emotions though, especially since it's not like Bill didn't do anything wrong here. Time to pitch his theory, even if it pisses Ford off or upsets him.]
But! On top of all that, he said he's gonna stay here when we leave, and I gotta be honest - I'm pretty sure that's what dropping this bomb on me was about. If I had to guess, if he really doesn't wanna graduate, then having me remember is his only way back to life. He probably figures if he tells me he was gonna murder the kids, makes me flip out, and I go running to you to demand my memory back, that he can skip all the hard junk.
[That's a lot to digest. Ford has to take a second. Bill thinks he's going to make Ford suicidally depressed? That's wrong, that's not what's happening here. It isn't Bill's fault that Ford felt the way he did last month, and Bill's doing that thing he promised not to do, which was to manage Ford's emotions!
He really thinks I can't take care of myself, huh. That's...that idea's painful.
And -- Bill hasn't given up on getting off this ship. That's not possible. Bill doesn't do that. Is Bill planning something he doesn't want Ford around for? Was this really just a gambit to get his life back? What's Bill's endgame?]
I'd bet there's a bunch of things he wants, and he figured that no matter what happened, he'd get one of them out of this.
[Stan casually tops off Ford's drink while he's processing all of that. Even if Bill sucks, it doesn't exactly make Stan happy to break this to Ford - especially since Ford just said he wants to continue having Bill in his life after the barge.]
Yeah, well. He's not getting them. That's why I wanted to hear this all from you. Now I know what happened and he got nothin' out of it!
[He definitely feels pretty good about that part! He did a clever thing for once! He dials the gloating back just a little for Ford's sake though. And only Ford's sake. Bill can suck a lemon.]
...If it makes you feel any better, I asked him if it meant he was breaking up with you and he said no? So that's something, I guess?
[Actually, Bill said "probably not" but Stan's trying his best here.]
[Ford grimaces, bracing an elbow on a table and sliding a hand up his face, under his glasses.]
He broke an agreement. He's trying to --
[Ford huffs.]
--he's trying to make decisions he thinks are best for me, without asking me what I want. I told him not to do that. I told him not to pick a fight with you!
[Because if Bill wants a fight with Stan more than he wants a future with Ford, then that future's not happening.]
I need to talk to him. If he's going to start going back on things we've decided and making moves behind my back, then I can't trust him. And if I can't trust him, then....
...Then, maybe he hasn't changed all that much after all.
[He wants to believe Ford. He really does. But this is all pretty damning. Ford can say what he wants, but this doesn't look very good. Stan's definitely not buying it, but he buys that Ford's buying it.]
Talk to him, see how that goes. And uh. ...If you need any back up, lemme know. I'm here for you, no matter what happens with that dumb triangle.
[Even if things fall apart. Even if they don't fall apart and they have to be civil. Ford's happiness and well being matter more to him than that.]
No, Stan, he has. He's just -- he's so sure that fighting you again is inevitable that he thinks giving anything different a chance is the same thing as giving you a head start!
[He quiets. The ice in Ford's drink clicks.]
He's scared, Stanley. Now that you're here, he thinks he's going to lose me.
[A long breath.]
I'll talk to him, about all of it. And -- thank you, for telling me about this. ...and for hearing me out.
[The worst part is, Ford's not totally wrong. And when Ford puts it like that...
No. Nope. He's going to put that fire out right now before it has any chance to catch. Bill tried to kill the kids. Bill is objectively terrible and Stan doesn't care that Bill has also worried about losing Ford, just like he did maybe five minutes ago.
He doesn't. Fuck Bill. If he doesn't think too hard about it, it won't matter.]
Yeah, no problem. What, you think you're the only one who's had questionable significant others you weren't sure you could trust?
[Stan doesn't even remember all of them and it's still too many for him to count!]
And, look. I can't promise I'll get along with him - especially since he's goading me here and he tried to murder the kids - but. Even if I don't trust him, I trust you. ...Even if you've got terrible taste.
[Despite what he literally just admitted about his own relationships, he still playfully takes the shot.]
[Ford laughs. He can't help it -- it's half that Stan is funny, and half out of relief. Of course Stan's had questionable exes. At least Bill hasn't tried to steal Ford's car!
He looks down at his glass.]
Ah, I should sober up before I try talking to him about anything serious. I'll need all my faculties to figure him out.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He slipped me a dark matter hypercannon so I could hold the other Bill off. He bought us time to capture him.
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And...what, you went "Oh, dating a guy to kill him sounds great!" and went for it?
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No! No, I did not date Bill to try to kill him! We explicitly agreed that that was a bad idea!
[He huffs.]
Apparently, that Ford is extremely depressed because of his circumstances and doesn't really care if he lives or dies as long as he takes Bill out with him.
[Ford hesitates. Does he say this? It'll be upsetting if he does. Stanley spent all that time working to get him back, and if he knows that the whole time Ford was ready to die if it meant Bill was gone for good...it feels disrespectful.]
It's different for me. I have the kids. I have you! And there's Bill, who has changed, even if he does very frustrating things sometimes. He's been there for me when not many other people were.
[But he's felt that way before. He felt that way for thirty years.]
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How's he changed?
[Just being there doesn't feel like enough - not for a relationship. Jerks love being at the right place at the right time to take advantage of someone. Still, the question's pretty broad, so he narrows it down.]
...Would he do it again, if he could?
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I don't believe he would. He doesn't like you -- doesn't like any of you! But he knows I'd never forgive him if he did it again.
I'm important to him, Stan. Very important. It took a lot to convince me of that. He took risks, made compromises, put me first even when it wasn't easy, because he wanted me in his life. He'll stop if I ask him to. He'll tell me the truth! And he won't deliberately do anything he knows will make me want to have nothing to do with him.
....he's also given up on destroying life on a large scale, which I deeply appreciate, but that decision wasn't because of me.
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It does mean Bill has a point though, and he hates admitting that.]
...So, what're you gonna do when we get outta here and we find another dimension? You said it yourself - he can't stand the rest of us!
[He doesn't like the insecurity pooling in his stomach, but he's gotta ask. He'll at least try to put it lightly.]
I know you don't know what's gonna happen, but I guess what I mean is, what do you want to happen?
[How serious are they, exactly? He's spent a lot of time teasing Ford about having a boyfriend, but he has no idea. Ford's important to Bill, but how important is Bill to Ford?]
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I want to be with my family again, without having to give up knowing him.
[He looks down at his drink.]
I want him to graduate. To be free again, without being a danger to life in the multiverse. If that happens, he's not going to spend the rest of our lives with us in Greendale. I want to set the kids up in a good dimension, with good schools and a little weirdness. Get everyone out of Gravity Falls who wants to go. I want to go on adventures with you. And -- I want to be able to see him, too, some of the time.
He offered to extend my life. Thirty years -- to make up for the thirty I spent stranded in the multiverse. To give me more time with you. With my family. I haven't decided yet if I want to take him up on it. But...I've thought about it.
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Maybe Ford expects that from Stan now. He should probably be more mad that Ford wants to spend any time with him, knowing what he knows now. Not that he's happy Bill tried to murder the kids - that's still not forgivable, even without the proper memory of it.
But. He's still left with a strange, complicated thought about Bill. One that doesn't sit easily with everything else he knows now, but one that keeps him from losing his shit now.]
...You wanna hear what he told me? 'Cause I sure as hell don't know what to make of it.
[Believe it or not, Bill didn't just pop up, go "HEY I ALMOST KILLED THE KIDS!", and flee.]
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Yes. Yes he does.]
What did he say?
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I think he's-- ugh. [He hates this. Stan doesn't even want to say it, now that he knows what Bill did. It is physically painful to sympathize with him.] He's worried about you.
[Enough gross emotions though, especially since it's not like Bill didn't do anything wrong here. Time to pitch his theory, even if it pisses Ford off or upsets him.]
But! On top of all that, he said he's gonna stay here when we leave, and I gotta be honest - I'm pretty sure that's what dropping this bomb on me was about. If I had to guess, if he really doesn't wanna graduate, then having me remember is his only way back to life. He probably figures if he tells me he was gonna murder the kids, makes me flip out, and I go running to you to demand my memory back, that he can skip all the hard junk.
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[That's a lot to digest. Ford has to take a second. Bill thinks he's going to make Ford suicidally depressed? That's wrong, that's not what's happening here. It isn't Bill's fault that Ford felt the way he did last month, and Bill's doing that thing he promised not to do, which was to manage Ford's emotions!
He really thinks I can't take care of myself, huh. That's...that idea's painful.
And -- Bill hasn't given up on getting off this ship. That's not possible. Bill doesn't do that. Is Bill planning something he doesn't want Ford around for? Was this really just a gambit to get his life back? What's Bill's endgame?]
I'd bet there's a bunch of things he wants, and he figured that no matter what happened, he'd get one of them out of this.
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Yeah, well. He's not getting them. That's why I wanted to hear this all from you. Now I know what happened and he got nothin' out of it!
[He definitely feels pretty good about that part! He did a clever thing for once! He dials the gloating back just a little for Ford's sake though. And only Ford's sake. Bill can suck a lemon.]
...If it makes you feel any better, I asked him if it meant he was breaking up with you and he said no? So that's something, I guess?
[Actually, Bill said "probably not" but Stan's trying his best here.]
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He broke an agreement. He's trying to --
[Ford huffs.]
--he's trying to make decisions he thinks are best for me, without asking me what I want. I told him not to do that. I told him not to pick a fight with you!
[Because if Bill wants a fight with Stan more than he wants a future with Ford, then that future's not happening.]
I need to talk to him. If he's going to start going back on things we've decided and making moves behind my back, then I can't trust him. And if I can't trust him, then....
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[He wants to believe Ford. He really does. But this is all pretty damning. Ford can say what he wants, but this doesn't look very good. Stan's definitely not buying it, but he buys that Ford's buying it.]
Talk to him, see how that goes. And uh. ...If you need any back up, lemme know. I'm here for you, no matter what happens with that dumb triangle.
[Even if things fall apart. Even if they don't fall apart and they have to be civil. Ford's happiness and well being matter more to him than that.]
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[He quiets. The ice in Ford's drink clicks.]
He's scared, Stanley. Now that you're here, he thinks he's going to lose me.
[A long breath.]
I'll talk to him, about all of it. And -- thank you, for telling me about this. ...and for hearing me out.
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No. Nope. He's going to put that fire out right now before it has any chance to catch. Bill tried to kill the kids. Bill is objectively terrible and Stan doesn't care that Bill has also worried about losing Ford, just like he did maybe five minutes ago.
He doesn't. Fuck Bill. If he doesn't think too hard about it, it won't matter.]
Yeah, no problem. What, you think you're the only one who's had questionable significant others you weren't sure you could trust?
[Stan doesn't even remember all of them and it's still too many for him to count!]
And, look. I can't promise I'll get along with him - especially since he's goading me here and he tried to murder the kids - but. Even if I don't trust him, I trust you. ...Even if you've got terrible taste.
[Despite what he literally just admitted about his own relationships, he still playfully takes the shot.]
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He looks down at his glass.]
Ah, I should sober up before I try talking to him about anything serious. I'll need all my faculties to figure him out.