And then I'd have been gone. Maybe the Admiral could have brought me back if somebody asked, but that'd depend on the whole Barge not writing it off as a coma or something.
[And the person Bill worked for and sacrificed for and changed for would be gone.]
[He looks at Bill and gives the shrug equivalent of the wigglyhand "shrinking us all down and taking us back to California with you is maaaaybe impossible" gesture.
There might be? There's cursed chests, memory-erasing guns, shrinking crystals, bodyswap carpets, and that's not counting the kinds of things Stan brought in here. He hasn't been running this house for a long time. There's a lot of brown meat he doesn't recognize.]
[Honesty gesture. Time to think. Try to get past the knee-jerk responses and habits and feelings and figure out the truth.]
Of course I'm taking it seriously. I just don't know how much more curse-proofing we can do. My coat didn't stop it -- it stopped a few of the cards' more targeted effects, but apparently can't prevent me from being pulled into a pocket dimension!
We can't account for every danger, Bill! Something is always going to get around our precautions because that's what's exciting! Keeping anyone safe around here is like trying to hold smoke.
[He really cares. Ford is...that's still something that carries a lot of weight with him. His mouth twists, he looks away, and he looks back.]
....but I can't say none of it was my responsibility. I did play the game that said the last players never made it out alive. I could have picked any game that wasn't on top of the stack!
...and I could probably go over the place with the pandimensional analyzer. See if anything's giving off unusual amounts of dark magic.
WILL YOU JUST - CAN YOU DO THAT, AND MAYBE LET ME GO THROUGH SOME OF THE STUFF YOU KNOW IS DANGEROUS? OR MIGHT BE DANGEROUS? THEY MIGHT BE ABLE TO MAKE EVERYTHING USELESS, BUT I DON'T JUST WANT TO NOT TRY....
[He puts a hand on Bill's side, reassuring. He really is okay. Bill doesn't have to apologize.]
Ah, that's all right. I figured the Authority hadn't given up on me. Sure, it might take time, but they wouldn't have assigned me a permanent inmate if they planned to get rid of me with a board game.
Plus, I carry all the emergency supplies I need in situations like this in my coat! Just in case.
[wink! he's been ready to leave the Barge at a moment's notice for a year and a half.
he's never telling u about the weird stuff he's had to eat tho]
All potential applications are cancelled out by what a loose cannon this game's effects are. Hard to target anything in particular. A risk just having it around.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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YEAH. YEAH, A LOT COULD HAVE GONE WRONG.
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[And the person Bill worked for and sacrificed for and changed for would be gone.]
...I must have scared you pretty badly.
...are you all right?
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DO YOU KNOW IF ANYTHING ELSE IN YOUR CABIN EATS PEOPLE?
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There might be? There's cursed chests, memory-erasing guns, shrinking crystals, bodyswap carpets, and that's not counting the kinds of things Stan brought in here. He hasn't been running this house for a long time. There's a lot of brown meat he doesn't recognize.]
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[Don't do wiggly hand!]
I.Q...
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[Bill gestures - stop, be honest please.]
ARE YOU TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY?
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Of course I'm taking it seriously. I just don't know how much more curse-proofing we can do. My coat didn't stop it -- it stopped a few of the cards' more targeted effects, but apparently can't prevent me from being pulled into a pocket dimension!
We can't account for every danger, Bill! Something is always going to get around our precautions because that's what's exciting! Keeping anyone safe around here is like trying to hold smoke.
[Steve said that.]
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[He really cares. Ford is...that's still something that carries a lot of weight with him. His mouth twists, he looks away, and he looks back.]
....but I can't say none of it was my responsibility. I did play the game that said the last players never made it out alive. I could have picked any game that wasn't on top of the stack!
...and I could probably go over the place with the pandimensional analyzer. See if anything's giving off unusual amounts of dark magic.
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MAYBE I SHOULD APOLOGIZE, TOO. YOU GOT THE WORST END OF THIS.
[Bill goes up to cup Ford's face, a little bemused.]
YOU DON'T SEEM LIKE YOU'RE TAKING IT THAT HARD, BUT YOU DID EAT BUGS.
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They're not the most unpleasant thing I've ever eaten.
[Survival on hostile planets means being iron-stomached sometimes! You eat what you gotta and you hope your stomach acid wins!]
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... NO, NO, NEVER MIND. I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'RE THIS CALM. I'M SORRY, KID. I SHOULD HAVE NOTICED SOONER.
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Ah, that's all right. I figured the Authority hadn't given up on me. Sure, it might take time, but they wouldn't have assigned me a permanent inmate if they planned to get rid of me with a board game.
Plus, I carry all the emergency supplies I need in situations like this in my coat! Just in case.
[wink! he's been ready to leave the Barge at a moment's notice for a year and a half.
he's never telling u about the weird stuff he's had to eat tho]
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[Bill looks the coat up and down at the second part.]
I KNOW YOU DO! YOU PROBABLY SPENT MORE TIME OFF EARTH THAN ON IT AT THIS POINT.
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But just because Ford feels the Authority won't let anything too existentially final to happen to him doesn't mean Bill's fear doesn't matter.
He grips Bill's side, where his hand is.]
Don't worry. We're going to get out of here.
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....want to throw it over the side?
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... CAN YOU THINK OF ANY POSSIBLE WAY THIS COULD BE USEFUL.
[Bill can't.]
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All potential applications are cancelled out by what a loose cannon this game's effects are. Hard to target anything in particular. A risk just having it around.
He shakes his head.]
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They will gather up the box, and hurl it overboard. Rest in pieces, cursed game.]