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[mothmansplaining]

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credit

"Stanford Pines. Leave a message."

Comments

consent issues warning probably

[tetractys]

Now, this is a mildly horrifying thing to say, but Bill totally breezes past all of that.

"I GAVE YOU LOTS OF BIG CLUES!"

He teleports to the piano bench and plays some clomping notes.

[mothmansplaining]

"I thought you were just being infuriatingly classy!"

Drives him nuts how stylish Bill can be sometimes. They both breeze past the horror of being flirted with while afraid for your life.

[tetractys]

"AWW, YOU THINK I'M CLASSY."

Eyelash flutter. Bill, you just kissed. Literally like a minute ago.

"BUT SOMEONE BEING CLASSY ON PURPOSE AT YOU IS FLIRTING! THAT'S IN THE RULES!"

He plays a flourish on the keys; QED.

[mothmansplaining]

"Is it?"

Ford sounds very doubtful.

"What if they're just trying to rub it in your face that they have it all together and you're tied to their wall?"

[tetractys]

Lol, guilty.

"WELL, THAT WAS HAPPENING TOO! YOUR SECRET ADVANTAGE IN THAT SITUATION IS THAT YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD TIED UP."

[mothmansplaining]

Ford's face had just started to get back to its normal color, but whoops, all that work's for nothing now. He sputters.

"You were looking at me?!"

How is he supposed to feel about that? Ford has some very mixed emotions sloshing around his brain.

[tetractys]

"I'M ALWAYS LOOKING AT THINGS!"

And that's the flippant answer, but Bill doesn't leave it there. He does a swoon over the keys.

"OH NO, I'M CAPTURED AND PINNED TO THE WALL BY A CLASSY AND HANDSOME GUY! WHO KNOWS WHAT ME AND MY HOT LEGS ARE GOING TO DO IN THIS STICKY SITUATION?"

Bill sits back up.

"AND THEN NEITHER OF US DID ANYTHING! SO YOU CAN SEE WHY I GET A LITTLE FRUSTRATED!"

[mothmansplaining]

He's flabbergasted.

He is trying to think through the champagne and the years, to reframe some of his and Bill's big interactions.

Bill was a monster. An absolute monster. But he did tie Ford up a lot. Drinks were involved. Ford had been very worried about many other things at the time. But some of what happened is....suspect.

"Oh. Oh, you were flirting."

[tetractys]

Bill appears next to Ford to thump him on the back with a tiny hand.

"YEAAAAH, YOU GOT IT."

[mothmansplaining]

He drags his hands down his face and groans.

"I had no idea."

[tetractys]

"I KNOW!" Cheery. "INCIDENTALLY, IF WE DECIDE TO MAKE THIS A THING I'D LOVE TO GET A 'TAKE TWO' ON SOME OF THOSE."

Bill, no.

[mothmansplaining]

He wants to do what?!

"All right, all right, just -- slow down," says Ford, holding his hands up and pushing them away a little. It's not a hard-stop, but he's a little overwhelmed.

"This has only been a thing for me for fifteen minutes. I can't think about -- about role-playing the times you've captured me. I'm still trying to figure out where I stand on sleeping with you!"

He looks at Bill sideways.

"I didn't even know we were sexually compatible," he adds.

[tetractys]

"IT SOUNDS WEIRD WHEN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT!"

That's because its weird.

"OH RIGHT! I GOT OFF TRACK. WE AREN'T. BUuuUUT..."

In the mindscape they are!

[mothmansplaining]

"Are you saying the mindscape would....change that?"

[tetractys]

"YEAH, I CAN SHAPESHIFT THERE!"

Everybody can, technically.

Hm.

"SO CAN YOU, IF YOU WANT TO TRY BEING A TRIANGLE! EXCEPT DON'T DO THAT, I DON'T RECOMMEND IT."

[mothmansplaining]

"What's so bad about it?" Ford asks. "I've always wanted to try out the whole being-of-pure-math-and-energy thing."

[tetractys]

"MOSTLY IN THIS CASE BECAUSE SHACKING UP ISN'T WORTH THE TIME IT'D TAKE TO DESCRIBE IT."

[mothmansplaining]

You see this look? It's cuuuuriosity. He doesn't ask. He just lets his eyebrows arch, and he looks at Bill, very curiously.

[tetractys]

"YOU'RE INTERESTED, BUT I'M ORIGINALLY FROM THE SECOND DIMENSION, WHERE NOTHING IS FUN! IT'S BASICALLY A CONTRACT BETWEEN YOUR FAMILIES WHERE THEY SELL THEIR KIDS TO EACH OTHER TO TRADE SPAWN PROTEINS AT A POLITE DISTANCE."

Bill pours himself more champagne.

"GIMME THIS."

[mothmansplaining]

"Oh. So, it's just species preservation and social expectations, then."

That is Victorian.

[tetractys]

brxu prp'v ylfwruldq

"UH HUH."

Bill drinks.

"I DIDN'T LIKE IT THERE!"

who could have guessed

[mothmansplaining]

Huh. This is actually....getting a lot from Bill. Of course Ford knows about Flatland, but only in the abstract, and in vague memories of reading the story in high school.

No kidding Bill didn't like it there. He destroyed it. Awkward.

"Yes, I...figured as much."

[tetractys]

In summary, "BACKSTORY STUFF IS A MOOD-KILLER, I LIKE BEING A TRIANGLE BUT I WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO BE ONE. I LIKE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE!"

[mothmansplaining]

"Except when you have improvements in mind," Ford adds dryly, because he's drunk and can't help it. "Like moth anatomy."

But backstory talk is absolutely a mood killer, and Ford is having trouble stopping thinking about it.

"Was there anything you liked about your world at all?"

Ford had hated Backupsmore, but at least there had been Fiddleford. He'd chafed in his hometown, but there had been Stan, and the beach, and the woods.

[tetractys]

"YOUR REGULAR TONGUE PROVED ITSELF! THAT'S MY DEFENSE! ALTHOUGH I BET THERE ARE OTHER WAYS YOU COULD HAVE IT WIN ME OVER IF YOU'RE STILL CONCERNED.

AND THE WINGS ARE JUST COOL.

AND I LIKE YOU BEING DRAWN TO ME!"

More candid than he'd usually be there, too.

"EVERYTHING I LIKED FAILED ME WHEN REALLY PUT TO THE TEST. TOO SCARED. COULDN'T HACK IT. I DON'T NEED ANY OF IT."

Less a fresh wound and more one he never let heal, made sure left a scar so he'd learn and remember.

"I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS. WE DID IT. AND YOU STAYED WITH ME AND LISTENED. THIS IS GOOD, IT'S A GOOD DAY!"

Floating up, aggressively trying to up the mood again. He goes to kiss Ford on the forehead, which will probably give the human a bonk on the nose via the general tie area. Oops. Bill's not too coordinated right now.