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[mothmansplaining]

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"Stanford Pines. Leave a message."

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[mothmansplaining]

Bill does look very available. But this is Ford Pines, and as good as he is at kissing people, when it happens, he is even better at talking himself out of kissing, especially when the pressure's off. He can do this. The champagne feels like thick cotton in his forebrain.

Bill might just be making fun of him. Bill might be making fun of him and sincerely want to kiss him.

But either way, he should definitely not do it. The answer, clearly, is to take another sip of the champagne. "...never mind."

[tetractys]

Bill sighs and turns back around to face Ford.

"LOOK, I SAID I WASN'T GONNA MANAGE. YOU - YOU SEEM LIKE YOU WANT TO, BUT IT'S NOT MY CALL TO MAKE WHETHER WANTING TO IS ENOUGH."

He frowns.

"RIGHT? THAT'S RIGHT? That sounds like something a person would say, yeah. TRUTH BE TOLD, I'M NOT GOING TO SWEAT IT IF WE DON'T DO THE HUMAN SQUISHY MOUTH THING. I MEAN, IT'S SAD, BECAUSE YOU'RE GOOD AT IT, BUT IT'S NOT GONNA KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT. I JUST LIKE THE WAY YOU LIKE ME. I LIKE THE THINGS YOU THINK ABOUT ME! I LIKE TO BE IMPORTANT TO YOU! YOU'RE IMPORTANT TO ME TOO, I GUESS."

[mothmansplaining]

Oh.

Ford's going to stand there a moment, speechless again.

He's kind of forgotten that he's holding a glass.

"The, um. The imagination spell. It hasn't progressed enough to generate constructs, has it? The-- there isn't going to be another Bill who doesn't feel that way coming in in a minute, right?"

[tetractys]

Ford is staring.

"NOT IN A MINUTE! WE HAVE..."

The countdown announces: FOURTEEN MINUTES TO NEXT BREACH.

"A COUPLE MORE CYCLES OF LISTENING TO HER. I'D SAY AT LEAST THREE OR FOUR DAYS."

[mothmansplaining]

"Oh. I see."

Ohhh god.

"You...really feel that way?"

Oh god oh god.

[tetractys]

"I'M NOT SURE WHAT THIS REACTION IS!"

And he's starting to get concerned, because this is not as immediately rewarding and positive as he was expecting it to be.

[mothmansplaining]

Ford buries his face in a free hand. He's a little overwhelmed here, caught off guard again, feeling a lot of emotions. A deep, calming breath.

"I like being important to you, too," he admits simply, when he looks up. "It's still hard to believe sometimes that that's even possible."

[tetractys]

Bill frowns, a little, putting pieces together.

"DID YOU THINK IT WAS THE SPELL?"

Did he get it that right?

[mothmansplaining]

"I was concerned about the possibility."

Because yes a Bill who is game to kiss him but respects a no and who talks about liking him and how he's good at kissing in a way that is somehow not embarrassing and to whom he, Ford, is important, dangerously resembles a figment of his imagination.

[tetractys]

"HAH."

And that needs a sanity check on Bill's end. He doubles back on the conversation. Did he mean everything he said?

"MAYBE I'M MOVING TOO FAST? I DON'T KNOW, IT'S NOT LIKE I LOVE YOU, I JUST THINK YOU'RE PRETTY NEAT."

Pats Ford on the head. Pat pat.

"I'M A LITTLE DRUNK."

:D

[mothmansplaining]

Oof. Headpats. They're --

-- he's barely even annoyed. He's kind of not. There's like the ghost of an annoyance that's haunting out of a sense of obligation.

"Well, that makes two of us," Ford replies. "On, uh...on all of that."

A thought occurs to him, and he laughs, small but warmer than the one before. "You know, I really thought that kissing you would be a bad idea because it'd make it harder for me to kill you," he says. "This was back when we were singing at each other. It looks like I didn't need to kiss you for that to be a problem!" Another laugh, at himself, at the whole situation.

[tetractys]

"OH YEAH. I GAVE UP ON THAT, TOO."

Making it harder to kill Ford isn't the right term, but it'll already hurt a lot if Bill has to. He's already given things up to try to make it less likely. Preventative measures didn't do much.

"...LISTEN, THE REASON THIS IS HAPPENING NOW IS THAT MICK VANISHED THE OTHER DAY. THE GUY THAT SAVED US BOTH FROM THE GHOST WIZARD AND HIS STUPID BLOOD THING. I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE I WAS GOING TO MISS HIM UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE."

Bill glares at his glass.

"THIS IS DUMB. EMOTIONS ARE STUPID!"

[mothmansplaining]

Ford's mood, if not his blood alcohol content, sobers.

He reaches over and touches Bill -- that triangle-equivalent-of-a-shoulder-touch thing he does.

"Emotions can be pretty stupid," he agrees, quieter and sympathetic. "I'm sorry you lost your friend."

[tetractys]

Bill doesn't seem to react, just watches the bubbles.

"I ALREADY LOST YOU ONCE, TOO. I KNOW, IT WAS A DIFFERENT FORD AND YOU DON'T REMEMBER, BUT WHAT IF YOU DISAPPEAR AND I NEVER EVEN TRIED, Y'KNOW?"

[mothmansplaining]

...Ford could tell him from experience exactly what that what-if is like. He usually doesn't even try. And they disappear. Or he disappears into the next dimension. Or they get married, and they're better off without him. And it can be gotten over and moved on from, except Ford's never really gotten over it, has he? The what-ifs and the regrets, he ignores them most of the time but they're still there, waiting to pop up again the next time something reminds him of what he wanted but never had.

"If your plan works, we'll be in a new world soon," Ford suggests, instead of sharing any of those regrets. "One where people don't vanish for extradimensional reasons beyond their understanding."

[tetractys]

"PEOPLE ALSO DIE PERMANENTLY OUTSIDE OF THE BARGE! I CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE SAYING I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD YOU THIS OR IF YOU'RE TRYING TO GET ME TO RUN AWAY WITH YOU."

It could really go either way.

[mothmansplaining]

There is a brief internal war inside Stanford Pines, where he can't decide if he's shocked, shocked at the implication, or if he wants to laugh. It winds up being a little bit of A, then a little bit of B.

"I was trying to make you feel better," he says. "I told you I was bad at it.

"Ah, well," Ford sighs, looking up at the portal. "I think we might be past the question of whether or not you'd run away with me."

[tetractys]

Bill hesitates a beat, then pats his hand.

"I KNOW THIS IS ALL GONNA COME BACK TO HURT ME. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN. AND IT'S OKAY! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING DUMB LIKE TELL PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT THEM. I'M NOT GONNA BLAME YOU."

[mothmansplaining]

He accepts the hand-pat, neither pulling away nor trying to keep it there.

"I wish I could say it wouldn't," Ford admits. "I hurt the people around me all the time! Even when I don't mean to. Even if -- if you did try, I'd probably do something stupid sooner or later and blow the whole thing."

[tetractys]

Bill twists around.

"HEYY, ALRIGHT, JUST NOW WASN'T A BIG DEAL. I JUST ASSUMED THE WORST AND I TOLD YA WHY."

What's up with your self-esteem today, buddy? u ok?

[mothmansplaining]

Ha ha ha, what do you mean "today?"

Though it's true that very soon he is going to do something stupid that's going to do some real damage to his friendships. Break a lot of trust. It's worth it, in Ford's opinion, but it's still a thing he's doing.

"But it's true," Ford insists. "Either something happens and the whole thing blows up, or I give up before I begin. I solve my relationship problems by jumping into wormholes, Bill!" He shakes his head.

[tetractys]

Bill is very dry. "BUT YA DON'T NEED MANAGING."

[mothmansplaining]

"I don't know. I know I don't want to be! You said yourself you couldn't make it work long-term if you're the one making decisions for both of us," Ford says. "So we're both stuck wanting this to happen but not sure we wouldn't break something doing it."

He leans back and looks up at the fluid color star-scape. "What if you just told me if you thought I was making a mistake, instead of sneaking around trying to get me to not make it?"

[tetractys]

com...mun... i...cate .. . . . . . . ? ¿ ?

"AAH, I THINK IT'S MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT. NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN, IF I'M PULLING BACK SO YOU DON'T GO TOO FAR, OR PUSHING ON SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE GIVING AWAY, BRINGING IT UP WOULD JUST GET ME A BUNCH OF DENIAL."

[mothmansplaining]

A hand comes back up to Ford's face and muffles his sigh.

"This is very complicated," he says. "And we aren't even...doing the human squishy mouth thing."