[Technically he can get this by, if he wants to, and throw Ford off the trail permanently. Technically, yes. It is because of things that have happened on the ship.
The first few months he hadn't missed Ford. He'd picked up a new set of people on day one, selected pretty carefully as candidates. Bleeding Heart, Snowflake, Sparky, Gold. Sharp, dangerous in their own way, prone to temper and protectiveness when pushed. He'd put them through their paces and they'd buckled. Quit or backed off or drawn up into performative apathy like playing possum. Snowflake became useful, but Bill's already got a thousand people that are useful and not one of them is he ever going to see as an equal.
Heart was the worst case. He actually outsmarted Bill on a deal. He had fun with it. He played the game. Then Bill got ugly, and he left. Wasn't worth it. That's the reaction he gets nine hundred and ninety nine times out of a thousand. Just not worth it.
There had been Sixers before Ford, people marked by destiny with the same sign. The last guy killed himself when he learned there was no way to stop from being a vessel for Bill even though, y'know, he signed up for this. They usually do. They usually give up as soon as Bill shows his other face and isn't what they were promised. What, you thought a god would be kind? Why? They usually build him temples, and appease, and Bill thinks it's funny but couldn't find it more boring.
Heart wasn't Ford, and the old Sixers weren't Ford, and Q isn't Ford despite best efforts. And Bill has lost Ford three times now (didn't even get to outsmart him in a fair fight) and every time it happens it gets worse to try to turn around and pretend it doesn't matter to Bill either way, because, fuck. Maybe it's a lot harder to find someone that thinks you're worth it than he'd ever imagined, and maybe for the first time Bill wants something he can't replace.]
YEAH, THAT WOULD BE UNBELIEVABLE. KID, CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE TO YOUR LIFE EITHER WAY?
[whoops, he said he wasn't going to use nicknames in this conversation. That just slipped out.]
Video (suicide mention from backstory)
The first few months he hadn't missed Ford. He'd picked up a new set of people on day one, selected pretty carefully as candidates. Bleeding Heart, Snowflake, Sparky, Gold. Sharp, dangerous in their own way, prone to temper and protectiveness when pushed. He'd put them through their paces and they'd buckled. Quit or backed off or drawn up into performative apathy like playing possum. Snowflake became useful, but Bill's already got a thousand people that are useful and not one of them is he ever going to see as an equal.
Heart was the worst case. He actually outsmarted Bill on a deal. He had fun with it. He played the game. Then Bill got ugly, and he left. Wasn't worth it. That's the reaction he gets nine hundred and ninety nine times out of a thousand. Just not worth it.
There had been Sixers before Ford, people marked by destiny with the same sign. The last guy killed himself when he learned there was no way to stop from being a vessel for Bill even though, y'know, he signed up for this. They usually do. They usually give up as soon as Bill shows his other face and isn't what they were promised. What, you thought a god would be kind? Why? They usually build him temples, and appease, and Bill thinks it's funny but couldn't find it more boring.
Heart wasn't Ford, and the old Sixers weren't Ford, and Q isn't Ford despite best efforts. And Bill has lost Ford three times now (didn't even get to outsmart him in a fair fight) and every time it happens it gets worse to try to turn around and pretend it doesn't matter to Bill either way, because, fuck. Maybe it's a lot harder to find someone that thinks you're worth it than he'd ever imagined, and maybe for the first time Bill wants something he can't replace.]
YEAH, THAT WOULD BE UNBELIEVABLE. KID, CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE TO YOUR LIFE EITHER WAY?
[whoops, he said he wasn't going to use nicknames in this conversation. That just slipped out.]